Hellscape #2

[Deleted]

You are alone in the swamps of the everglades treading 2ft of mud. You have a serval to protect you. You have a fractured lumbar spine, a shattered right shoulder and a horrible UTI and kidney stones. Your right foot is broken. You have coronavirus and stage 3 bone cancer. You have a buttplug in your colon where you can't reach it. A hot flaming rod has been shoved into your eyeball. But no worries! You have a machete and a revolver with 3 bullets. You also have a 100lb baseball bat and a 100lb bow and 10 arrows. You have eggs. You also have 10 prime ribs to eat and 5 big macs. You need to survive 1 year in the wilderness in the everglades swamp, but every 2 months there will be an arena you must get to. If you don't 10 Galgo Patagonicos will appear to try to kill you and your serval. The arena is 2 miles away wherever you are.

Round #1
30lb bobcat

Round #2
100lb florida panther

Round #3
140lb black bear

Round #4
600lb alligator on land

Round #5
2 200lb kangals

[Deleted]

@ajay how do you feel about this one?

[Deleted]

"UTI" lol smh

[Deleted]

Geez it keeps getting better!

[Deleted]

Yeah you like torturing me with these really complicated gauntlets don't you? Because you put the effort in I'll take care of this one, but after this that's it lol. I don't mind gauntlets but prefer them a bit more straight up without the massive preface and miscellaneous conditions.

Like Hellscape 1 I wouldn't use the bow as I've never used one, so I'm working with machete, baseball bat, and 3 bullets. I'm the walking wounded, I can stand and fight but won't be employing much footwork with that long list of ailments.

Round 1: The 30 lb bobcat I kill with machete, no problem

Round 2: The 100 lb Florida Panther I might take with the machete, the baseball I can't wield anywhere near powerfully enough in my condition to stop the panther.

It will be a messy ground contest with the cougar on top with a bite on me. But with a lot of pain fighting through my injuries and condition I can still probably stab it to death before it kills me.

So basically I'd have to let it take me to ground and bite me while I stabbed it to death.

Round 3: The 140 lb black bear will be a considerably bigger problem than the 100 lb panther, harder to kill. I don't know, I'd have to use a somewhat similar method as with the panther, let it take me to ground and maul me while I try stabbing at its head and neck. I still might pull it off, after all it is a very small bear. Lets assume I do so we can see what the next round looks like.

Round 4: The 600 lb alligator I think I can take with the machete just because it's on land. I'd ride its back while stabbing the side of its neck while trying to avoid it's jaws as it turns around. It turns one way and I stab the other side of it's neck. I could easily lose here, the gator could buck around, dislodge me and get me. But what the hell, lets assume I avoid the gator's jaws and get through to the next round.

Round 5: The only chance I have with the 2x 200 lb kangals is by employing the 3 bullets. I'd have to let them get on top of me then discharge the bullets into their heads point-blank.

To be honest I'd use all 3 bullets on just the one dog and hope that stops it short. It may or may not.

If I do, I can go at the remaining kangal with machete, but again it will have to be me on the ground stabbing at the dog while it's mauling me.

I think my chances of pulling this off are fairly small in my condition. Even able-bodied this could be touch and go.

[Deleted]

Dec 19, 2022 2:32:03 GMT @ajay said:

Yeah you like torturing me with these really complicated gauntlets don't you? Because you put the effort in I'll take care of this one, but after this that's it lol. I don't mind gauntlets but prefer them a bit more straight up without the massive preface and miscellaneous conditions.

Like Hellscape 1 I wouldn't use the bow as I've never used one, so I'm working with machete, baseball bat, and 3 bullets. I'm the walking wounded, I can stand and fight but won't be employing much footwork with that long list of ailments.

Round 1: The 30 lb bobcat I kill with machete, no problem

Round 2: The 100 lb Florida Panther I might take with the machete, the baseball I can't wield anywhere near powerfully enough in my condition to stop the panther.

It will be a messy ground contest with the cougar on top with a bite on me. But with a lot of pain fighting through my injuries and condition I can still probably stab it to death before it kills me.

So basically I'd have to let it take me to ground and bite me while I stabbed it to death.

Round 3: The 140 lb black bear will be a considerably bigger problem than the 100 lb panther, harder to kill. I don't know, I'd have to use a somewhat similar method as with the panther, let it take me to ground and maul me while I try stabbing at its head and neck. I still might pull it off, after all it is a very small bear. Lets assume I do so we can see what the next round looks like.

Round 4: The 600 lb alligator I think I can take with the machete just because it's on land. I'd ride its back while stabbing the side of its neck while trying to avoid it's jaws as it turns around. It turns one way and I stab the other side of it's neck. I could easily lose here, the gator could buck around, dislodge me and get me. But what the hell, lets assume I avoid the gator's jaws and get through to the next round.

Round 5: The only chance I have with the 2x 200 lb kangals is by employing the 3 bullets. I'd have to let them get on top of me then discharge the bullets into their heads point-blank.

To be honest I'd use all 3 bullets on just the one dog and hope that stops it short. It may or may not.

If I do, I can go at the remaining kangal with machete, but again it will have to be me on the ground stabbing at the dog while it's mauling me.

I think my chances of pulling this off are fairly small in my condition. Even able-bodied this could be touch and go.

How do you think your life would be in the forest afterwards? I felt like making you miserable.
I think you may be rolling in the ground in pain and commit suicide with the revolver. That was the goal at least, lol, didn't expect you to live.
Ok I'll limit it to a few broken bones instead of making you completely miserable with 100s of horrible conditions.

[Deleted]

Dec 19, 2022 2:34:29 GMT Bolushi said:

Dec 19, 2022 2:32:03 GMT @ajay said:

Yeah you like torturing me with these really complicated gauntlets don't you? Because you put the effort in I'll take care of this one, but after this that's it lol. I don't mind gauntlets but prefer them a bit more straight up without the massive preface and miscellaneous conditions.

Like Hellscape 1 I wouldn't use the bow as I've never used one, so I'm working with machete, baseball bat, and 3 bullets. I'm the walking wounded, I can stand and fight but won't be employing much footwork with that long list of ailments.

Round 1: The 30 lb bobcat I kill with machete, no problem

Round 2: The 100 lb Florida Panther I might take with the machete, the baseball I can't wield anywhere near powerfully enough in my condition to stop the panther.

It will be a messy ground contest with the cougar on top with a bite on me. But with a lot of pain fighting through my injuries and condition I can still probably stab it to death before it kills me.

So basically I'd have to let it take me to ground and bite me while I stabbed it to death.

Round 3: The 140 lb black bear will be a considerably bigger problem than the 100 lb panther, harder to kill. I don't know, I'd have to use a somewhat similar method as with the panther, let it take me to ground and maul me while I try stabbing at its head and neck. I still might pull it off, after all it is a very small bear. Lets assume I do so we can see what the next round looks like.

Round 4: The 600 lb alligator I think I can take with the machete just because it's on land. I'd ride its back while stabbing the side of its neck while trying to avoid it's jaws as it turns around. It turns one way and I stab the other side of it's neck. I could easily lose here, the gator could buck around, dislodge me and get me. But what the hell, lets assume I avoid the gator's jaws and get through to the next round.

Round 5: The only chance I have with the 2x 200 lb kangals is by employing the 3 bullets. I'd have to let them get on top of me then discharge the bullets into their heads point-blank.

To be honest I'd use all 3 bullets on just the one dog and hope that stops it short. It may or may not.

If I do, I can go at the remaining kangal with machete, but again it will have to be me on the ground stabbing at the dog while it's mauling me.

I think my chances of pulling this off are fairly small in my condition. Even able-bodied this could be touch and go.

How do you think your life would be in the forest afterwards? I felt like making you miserable.
I think you may be rolling in the ground in pain and commit suicide with the revolver. That was the goal at least, lol, didn't expect you to live.
Ok I'll limit it to a few broken bones instead of making you completely miserable with 100s of horrible conditions.

I can see that, motherfucker. Life in the forest after? Yep I'm thinking after all those contests and with those injuries and ailments a revolver to the brain sounds glorious.